Tool Selection
Could be someone I know, someone I don't know, fictional characters, dead people. I don't care, I'm an equal opportunity complainer when it comes to complete dickwads.
Wherever there's a Complete Tool, I'll follow closely behind with my anonymous bitching. 'Cuz that'll show 'em.
Wherever there's a Complete Tool, I'll follow closely behind with my anonymous bitching. 'Cuz that'll show 'em.
About Me
Anti-Tool Committee
Other Awesome Blogs
-
Detective stories - Did anyone else out there read "The Problem of Cell 13" by Jacques Futrelle? I'm assuming I'm not the only one, as it was in the standard 6th-grade rea...4 days ago
-
Philippine Travel Ban Advisory: List of Countries Banned from Entering the Philippines due to Omicron Variant - IATF releases new Red List - also suspends plan to reopen PH to foreign tourists [image: Philippine Travel Ban Advisory 2021 : List of Countries Banned fro...2 years ago
-
Richard - *(AUTHOR NOTE: My publisher told me I could post a chapter from the new book. There were 25 chapters to choose from, but I chose this one. Because I want...3 years ago
-
"You Been Messing With The Bees?" - We're getting bees. They come tomorrow. All 500 of them. I don't have enough place settings. But they're coming. Eleven is not psyched. He is afraid of bee...3 years ago
-
I’m Fine. (A lie.) - Honestly, I thought the number was eight. When I have a kid that turns eight, I’ll freak out. “Oh my god, my babies are almost adults and going to leave me...4 years ago
-
The Trauma of Being Laid Off - I was laid off last week. It’s the second time I’ve been laid off in my advertising career. The first time, people congratulated me on getting my first lay...5 years ago
-
-
Author Amy Gettinger and her book, "Alice in Monologue Land" - Author friend Amy Gettinger has a self-published book out that is getting rave reviews. She is offering it today for free on Amazon (regular price is $3.99...7 years ago
-
RSS Tas Unik Vintage Maksimalkan Gaya Wanita - Subscribe to RSS headline updates from: Powered by FeedBurner8 years ago
-
-
Moving On: A Magpie Tale - She'd been hanging her hat in the same place for a long time. So long, in fact, that her thoughts had become as worn as the hat. It was time to move on. ...8 years ago
-
Whoa... Hey there Campers. - Has it really been so long, Readers? It has. Couplefew things have changed. I went to school last year. It was horrible. The program was a clown circu...9 years ago
-
Is This Deployment Ever Going to End? - I have just about decided the answer is no. It seems like that every time I think that I might just might be seeing a light at the end of the tunnel ...9 years ago
-
In Which I Scoot - This weekend, for the first time in my life, I rode on a scooter. Not just any scooter, mind you, but one made for professionals. The *Zinc Team Series Cho...9 years ago
-
The never ending Pity-Party... - I'm a VERY empathetic person. I swear it. I can hardly watch the news anymore because it's always sad stuff and my heart just breaks for people, and then I...10 years ago
-
The Tooth Fairy: Round 2 - When you don't talk to your kids about the important issues, such as the Tooth Fairy, then someone else will. Someone really convoluted according to the c...12 years ago
-
My Very First Craft Show Is Coming Up Fast - September 3, 2011 is a day I am both anticipating and dreading. It is the day of the Summer's End Festival in Hagersville, Ontario. My mother, who is also ...12 years ago
-
I'M MOVING - Hi. I'm moving to WordPress because Blogger has suspended my blog twice claiming that it is spam. Would love to see you over at http://www.alwayscurtsywhen...12 years ago
-
Go Follow My Sister (Makeup Giveaway on Her Blog!) - Go look here. All you have to do to enter is follow her on that blog, or her other blog, or add her as a favorite seller on ebay. You can do all three for ...13 years ago
-
So That Happened - Tonight at the supermarket I found myself behind a pretty girl in the checkout line. [image: grocery01][image: grocery02][image: grocery03][image: grocery0...13 years ago
-
-
-
-
-
-
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Pink Eye
Son-of-a-bitch. You have pink eye. You know you have pink eye. You came into work anyway. WITH PINK EYE!
Now, I know why you did it. I'm not a stupid tool. After today, you'll be out of sick time for the year and subject to disciplinary action. You needed me to send you home so, if we decided to write you up, you could complain that you didn't have the choice to stay. Of course I'm going to send you home without a choice, you have gawdamn pink eye. I'll give you your personal day, you conniving jerk. Just keep your stinkin' cooties at home.
What're you going to bring to work next? Head lice? Scabies? I've always wanted to pass a little ringworm around the office. I can't wait to find out.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
You think it's bad at work... you should see what it's like at the school where I teach.. or any other school for that matter. It's such a terrible inconvenience for parents to keep their kids home from school, they send them with everything from Swine Flu to Pink Eye to The Bubonic Plague. (You might as well forget about the basic cooties.)
Obviously they forgot to read the warning label attached to their newborn's toe before they agreed to take them home from the hospital. Not so cute when they're spewing green shit out their noses, having explosive diarrhea in the back seat of the car and blowin' chunks all over your work clothes, now, are they?
So, the majority of parents definitely fall into the "tool" category. (Myself excepted, naturally... I'm obviously a perfect parent in all ways!)
Sincerely,
Cat Lady
P.S. By the way... I always stick around to tell parents exactly why their little darlings are teary, or dripping blood or clinging to severed body parts. I have to get my satisfaction somehow! (Okay, so I admit it... I'm a complete tool, too!)
I'm confused. Are you trying to tell me that my kids aren't fashion accessories?
I specifically had the boy because my girl was clashing with my blue pants.
I can't wait until my kids are old enough to go to school! Dealing with the overly agressive room-mother should get interesting.
At least I'll have no end of people to blog about. :D