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Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Who Flipped On The Crazy? Part 3 - The Final Chapter
9:18 PM | 
Posted by
Awesomeness |
An open letter to EmployeeVonMunchausen
Yesterday, when I had to take you aside and ask you to get your shit straight, I wasn't expecting a complete turn around. Not only did you come back out relieved and happy-looking, you were chit-chatting and acting like a normal person. I was amazed! For a moment I felt like I must have said something profound -- like in the movies.
Get busy livin' or get busy dyin'. -- Andy Dufresne "The Shawshank Redemption"I thought maybe I should give up this 9-5 shit and just start inspiring people for a living like that douche Dr. Phil (but with more hair...and less slime). Until you started chit-chatting about the new book series that you're reading. It started out great: you were totally excited about some books that you found. I was happy to hear the passion in your voice as you were describing the plot of this amazing new series. And then the details start pouring in:
It's a teen series.
About vampires.
Or, I'm sorry, people who are "marked" by vampires.
And they have to go to vampire school.
Where they learn to ...? I guess give each other blowies in front of their classmates?
Vampire porn.
You're talking to me about your vampire porn? On a list of things I don't want to know about you, this ranks at #2. It's only holding the #2 spot because I'm sure there's something else about you that will eventually top that. I just hope I never find out.
You're a 33-year old lonely gal who craves attention and has a strong fixation with the current vampire craze. I have a hard time hearing about your smut books without also picturing...
Anyway, for the love of all that is holy, please shut the fuck up about your porno books.
Sincerely,
Awesomeness
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