Tool Selection

Could be someone I know, someone I don't know, fictional characters, dead people. I don't care, I'm an equal opportunity complainer when it comes to complete dickwads.

Wherever there's a Complete Tool, I'll follow closely behind with my anonymous bitching. 'Cuz that'll show 'em.

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Monday, November 7, 2011

One Down, One To Go

This year has brought so many changes for me in my professional life.  I'm now working for a new company (same office, different company), under a different set of standards and the rules seem to change daily.  It's been stressful in a way that I never expected.

One change that I will not be whining about:

MisManager is leaving.

She's leaving!  She's leaving!  She's leaving, leaving, leaving!!

I have suffered this woman's insanity for 5 years now and, while I will miss her ability to... absent from the office most of the time, I will not miss:

  • Sudden outbursts of paranoia.  Like chalking up being the last person in the office to know about something to the fact that "everyone is intentionally excluding you" and "everyone's afraid to talk to you" and not to the fact that "you are always fucking gone."  Good call.
  • Getting in trouble for the stupidest shit ever. Even though I now have bragging rights as the only person on the planet who's been in trouble for calling a maintenance guy to ask him when he's going to install our office equipment.  (Completely overlooking the fact that managing the operation of the office is exclusively my job.) There's always that.
  • Being asked to document conversations that I was not a party to.  I don't.  Then I get in trouble for not providing the necessary documentation when the time comes.  I'd rather get in trouble for that than  phonying up documentation.
  • Having work delegated to me so that I can delegate it to my people.  Without any instruction whatsoever.  Or deadlines.  Then, as you probably guessed, I get in trouble for not making sure my employee had it done on time or correctly.  But, you're right, I should know to ask 40,000 questions. I'm that eager to take on her shit work.
  • Having important joint meetings bumped for, seriously, anything else she decides to do.  Our annual performance reviews, for instance, were 2 months overdue this year.  One of the things they were getting bumped for involved her 17-year old daughter's school schedule.  As in, MisManager had to go meet with the counselors to decide what classes her daughter needed to attend.  Let her be a grown up and figure that shit out on her own lady.
  • Having important joint meetings interrupted by personal phone calls.  Your college-aged son doesn't really need to check in with Mommy every day does he?   Oh yes, he does.  My bad.
  • Having important joint meetings interrupted by complete strangers.  No, she was really one of those assholes who can neither find their "Do Not Disturb" button nor ignore a ringing telephone.  One phrase that will haunt me to my grave, "I don't know who this is.  I'd better pick up."  Seriously?  It could be a wrong number for all you know.
  • Having my staff interrogated like accomplices to murder whenever I'm out of the office for the day.  I come back to half the staff talking like they did their best not to give away the secret location to my cubbyhole full of dead baby hearts.  I've never met a human being more afraid to just ask their own employee to explain the work they do.  She (in all seriousness and less gruesomeness) makes my employees feel like I've done something wrong and they've ignorantly helped me do it.  I have to work very hard to keep assuring them that I'm someone that they can trust.
  • "Irregardless."  The word is regardless.  Irregardless is, if you're counting it as a word even, a double negative.  You're actually negating what you say when you use your pet colloquialism.  For the love of God, please stop.
  • Having to find a way to make sure that everyone gets included in everything no matter how impossible that task actually is.  Sometimes, someone needs to stay behind or get left out.  Or they just don't give 2 shits about participating.
It's not to say that the new manager won't have their own set of infuriating quirks that I'll have to learn to live with.  I'm not that naive.  I'm just so glad that this is finally over.

Now if I can get lucky enough to be rid of my other problem...


Pickleope said...

I feel your simultaneous elation and trepidation. Some peoples' only talent in a place of authority is to make others miserable and cover they're own arse.
No one really roots for the professional or personal demise of a boss...but it's kind of cool when they get out of our way.

Awesomeness said...

You're right in that it's not total bliss. I wish I could completely relish this moment, but I don't know if I'm jumping from the frying pan into the fire.

I'm working really hard to recruit a manager who's not a total dickbag. My efforts are not producing the results I want, though.

We'll see.

JJ said...

Hey, my very on MisManger is leaving for another company and today is her last day. There was a luncheon to celebrate her... um...mourn her(?) furthering her career with another company across the country. *fistpound* to you-we made it!

Awesomeness said...

Hey! That's awesome JJ. Congrats to you. It really is a good feeling to finally be rid of that "special" someone. :)

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