Tool Selection

Could be someone I know, someone I don't know, fictional characters, dead people. I don't care, I'm an equal opportunity complainer when it comes to complete dickwads.

Wherever there's a Complete Tool, I'll follow closely behind with my anonymous bitching. 'Cuz that'll show 'em.

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Friday, September 25, 2009

My Other Car Is The Short Bus




To all the assholes on the road tonight: when you finally Darwin yourself into oblivion, don't take me with you.

Landscapers:
Red means stop.  Red at a 6-way overpass means REALLY, REALLY STOP!
iPod Guy:
Take your fucking headphones off.  That emergency vehicle you can't hear might just be on its way to your mom's house, you stupid loser.
Winnebago Fucker:
You're towing a car with a Winnebago.  You're not driving a scooter.  Be a little more observant of your exits so you don't feel obligated to cut off 2 lanes of traffic.  AND USE YOUR TURN SIGNALS.
Stealth Racer:
Riding up my ass is dumb enough.  I'm universally renowned for spacing out and needing to stomp my brakes.  Doing it without your lights on is suicide.
Sunday Driver:
The speed limit is already 30.  Going 25 MPH in front of the 4 other cars trying to drive that road just because you wanted to finish listening to a song before you got home is un-neighborly.  You should be ashamed of yourself.

Yeah, that was me.

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