Tool Selection

Could be someone I know, someone I don't know, fictional characters, dead people. I don't care, I'm an equal opportunity complainer when it comes to complete dickwads.

Wherever there's a Complete Tool, I'll follow closely behind with my anonymous bitching. 'Cuz that'll show 'em.

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Sunday, August 22, 2010

Toilet Paper or...Toilet Paper? Hmmmmm.....

I know it's confusing EVM.  When I revamped the office's "Frequently Ordered Supplies" list, I listed toilet paper twice; once under office supplies and once again under cleaning supplies.  I did not do this to make your head explode, I was just being a flake.

So when you couldn't find toilet paper in the women's bathroom (because it's kept in the cleaning closet with all the other cleaning supplies), you decided to document your torturous experience in the following email:

We are out of toilet paper in the women's restroom.  I had to go into the men's room to find a spare roll.  I was going to list the fact that we were out on the new supply order list, but it's written on there twice and I didn't know which one I should pick.  - Sincerely confused (I am not making this up) EmployeeVonMunchausen
 So instead of asking someone else where the spare toilet paper was kept or checking either toilet paper box on the list, you decided to take the time and draft a dissertation of your harrowing toilet paper adventure.  Good call.  My response:

I'm not sure why you found this so confusing -- it was obviously an oversight.  The next time your faced with this situation, please check one box or the other and, if you feel it necessary, either write in your observation about the duplicate entry on the checklist or just tell someone.  For future reference, spare toilet paper is kept in the cleaning supply closet.  -- Awesomeness
  Don't forget to breathe in and out during your hike to the supply closet EVM.  For instructions on how to pick up your legs and feet in a fashion that will carry you in a forward motion, I will follow with a technical manual.  Complete with illustrations and shit.


angry mandy said...

EVM should be studied for her ability to be so amazingly inept and entertaining all at once.

Awesomeness said...

Agreed! Of course, the day she did this I was so pissed off that I forbid everyone to mention her name around me for the rest of the day (she took a couple of personal days last week).

Yeah, that was unprofessional and petty. She did fuck a lot of other shit up that day though, so I feel justified.