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Could be someone I know, someone I don't know, fictional characters, dead people. I don't care, I'm an equal opportunity complainer when it comes to complete dickwads.

Wherever there's a Complete Tool, I'll follow closely behind with my anonymous bitching. 'Cuz that'll show 'em.

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Monday, March 28, 2011

Your Timing Is Off...And Other Fun Memories From Today

"We just wanted to bring a few things over for you and your tiny daughter."

I knew today was going to be difficult after yesterday's phone call.  I was not expecting the infuriating blunderfest that MisManager made of the day.

1. We have a meeting every Monday.  For today's meeting, we had invited a guest speaker.  It was one of our business partners who comes into the office frequently enough that he is well-acquainted with everyone, but not so often that he's "one of the family."  Instead of waiting until our guest had said his piece and giving everyone a chance to think about his advice, MisManager decided to make the announcement right away.

This went something like:
I have some news this morning.  Last night I got an unexpected call from (widowed employee).  Her husband died.  I guess it was a heart attack.  Right now, we need to do everything we can to help her out.  Mostly just keep her in your prayers.  So, Steve, you're here this morning to talk to us about....
I could have slapped her.  Of course, our business partner was stunned and didn't recover from having to follow a death announcement. We'll probably have to invite him back to try it again.

2. The advice she gave during her careless speech was that we should "do everything we can to help her out."  Widow Employee is a very private person under normal circumstances.  These are extremely trying circumstances.  The last thing we want to do is "everything we can."  What she really needs from us is to respect her privacy and leave her the fuck alone.

I decided around the middle of the day to express my concerns to MisManager, because I was very afraid that some members of our staff (like EVM, who naturally preys on anyone in need) would take the comment as an open invitation to hound the poor woman.  I did not expect her to admit that she'd been trying to talk everyone else on the staff into delivering food to the grieving family.

I don't know how I found big girl words to mask my rage as I delicately explained to her that she may want to rethink bombarding a person in mourning with more food than she and her daughter could eat.  Knowing the aggrieved, the statement we would make would be, "I'm sorry your husband died and whatever. Mind if we just barge in here and make you store some food that you're going to throw away later?"

3. In this same conversation, I asked her if she had called one of our former employees who is pretty close to Widow Employee.  She tells me that she is "not proactively calling anyone."  Like this is a sales call.  She then advised me not to tell our former coworker unless I "just happened to be talking to her."  She also made a few other comments that insinuated that I'd just asked her if we called everyone who ever knew Widow.  I just wanted to call someone that I know she considers a friend.  Way to exaggerate my intentions.

So, naturally, I called anyway.  Fuck that noise.  I can only imagine if she found out from someone else.  She would be very upset.

4. On the way home from work today, I told Mr. A that he's not allowed to die while I still work for MisManager.

Apparently her lack of tact is rubbing off on me.


Keri said...

Hello Awesome ness... just checking in to live vicariously thru your tourment at work. Since I've been looking for a job for many, many months, it makes me feel as though I'm part of s o m e t h i n g more interesting than viewing "mommy blogs" all morning.

I see MsManager is still throwing her weight around the office just so that there can never be any doubt or question in anyones mind that SHE is in control, in charge, important, smart, number one, numero uno, head honcho, cheifess of all things that matter, validated, in a power position and respected by the universe.

It would appear that you are paying some pretty critical dues here, one day at a time. I have to give kudos to you for that. Thanks for the great post.

Take care, Keri

Awesomeness said...

I would love to join you and just live through this vicariously. I think I would eat less depression food.

And you've got MisManager's number dead on. If I had a dollar for every time she felt the need to remind me, "I AM your manager...."

Yep, that's what your business cards say. What they don't say is that you ARE:

*A good decision maker.
*An inspirational leader.
*Someone who understands that no one else but you thinks your way.
*Queen of the fucking universe.
*Tactful. (That's not really fair, because my business card wouldn't say that either.)
*Cognizant of what the word "fair" actually means.

I wonder if the printers would put "Queen Of The Fucking Universe" on my business cards.

Maybe if I tried to make it look like a business degree. My card could read:

Awesomeness, Q.O.T.F.U.

I might try that.