Don't Be A Complete Tool

Yesterday, I introduced you all to the newest member of my team.  This guy:


If ever there was a person who belonged on display in this blog, it's him.

We don't demand much from our security personnel.  Hang out and wait for shit to happen, really.  It's a pretty sweet gig.  Walk around the building a bit.  Chase away panhandlers.  It's a breeze.

Even if they don't do any of that, our absolute core expectation: keep unauthorized persons from entering our secured area.  As basic as that might seem, and as hard as it is to believe, this was the source of today's confusion.

Before coming to work for us, Dory (I have settled on this....it was the most demeaning, so naturally, the winner) used to work for a hospital.  I find it hard to believe that someone would have to tell him not to let junkies into the pharmacy.

Scratch that, I would have found it hard to believe before today.

We have one secured area.  90% of our clients never need to go in there.  When they do, we need to make sure that we've properly cleared a business purpose for their access and an employee needs to account for them the whole time they're in there.

Except today.  When 90% of our clients got into that area by simply pointing toward it and saying, "I need to go in there."  Literally verbatim.

Psssst! Dory....

There's a lock on that door for a reason, asshead!


If we wanted the entire city of Phoenix traipsing through this area, we would just prop the door open and put out a Welcome mat.  You are doing the exact opposite of what any person with an I.Q. above 'drooling and diaper change' level would assume.  In fact, if you were missing one more brain cell, you would be a Hilton sister.

Ahhhhh.....

Yes.

I missed this.