Tool Selection

Could be someone I know, someone I don't know, fictional characters, dead people. I don't care, I'm an equal opportunity complainer when it comes to complete dickwads.

Wherever there's a Complete Tool, I'll follow closely behind with my anonymous bitching. 'Cuz that'll show 'em.

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Monday, September 19, 2011

Checking Back In

I have been checked out for too long.  I got tired of writing in circles about the frustrating times at work.  I thought that, if I stopped giving myself a passive outlet for diffusing the majority of my anger, that I would learn how to focus it fully on what really matters: setting things right around the office.

Not so much.

What's that old maxim?  You can lead a horse's ass to water....or something.  For all my trouble, I am now an expert with reasoning with brick walls.

For best results, create your own audience of Papaya Guys.
So, I'm back with some of your old favorite characters: MisManager, EmployeeVonMunchausen and Jailbait.  Over the last few months, there have been some new additions to the happy family.  Meet:

I seriously love this girl to death.  MisManager is hellbent on hating her to death.  She goes to school on days and during times when MisManager wants her there the most -- no matter when her classes are.

He's a good dude.  He probably deserves a better nickname, but I dubbed him this in his first post appearance.  He's studying to be a doctor right now.  Even after he gets his M.D., though, he will be Dr. CoffeeBitch.  That's how this works.

An unpolished girl with a heart of gold.  10k gold.  I think I like her best, because she's the only person I've ever met that can out-awkward me in a conversation.  That is extremely hard to do.

Goldfish (or 50-First-Days ... I haven't decided yet)
Our new security guy.  He has been on the job for over a week now.  I have explained his job to him every single day.  At least twice.  He still doesn't get it.  I wonder if he just likes the attention or if he's related to Dory.

Maybe his new nickname will just be Dory.  I'll choose by the next time I have to write about him.

Which should be tomorrow.


Pickleope said...

Poor CoffeeBitch. Saddled forever with an unfortunate nickname (that makes me giggle every time I see it). I love people with the ability to make any conversation awkward. It's a unique talent.

Awesomeness said...

I do feel sad that I can't think of another nickname for him. He really is a good guy.

TruckStop is a special kind of talent, who will interject randomly (and dorkily) into conversations with phrases that don't fit the context.

"Ooooh! Check you out!!"


Anonymous said...

woot! new blog entries!