Don't Be A Complete Tool

It's sad that you suffer from this disorder, MissMunchausen employee.  On top of your growing list of other disturbing ailments, this is the last thing that you need.  What a tragedy.

 By far, this is the worst case of Chronic Selective Amnesia I've ever seen.  Your symptoms are keeping you from remembering even the most basic instructions.  For instance, we just talked last week, both as a group and to you individually, about the expectation that everyone call in to us 1/2 an hour before their scheduled start time when they're going to be absent or late.

Calling us 2 hours after your scheduled start time doesn't fit within that guideline.  Is it just coincidence that your extreme tardiness happened on a day when my manager and I were out at a meeting?  Probably not.  Your CSA seems to flare up worse when we're out of the office.

Speaking of the office, this is where you called us from.  That's just crazy.  I'm not even sure that broken logic is CSA related.

Thanks for calling to let us know that you graced the office with your presence.  We were busy learning about protected disorders according to the Americans With Disabilities Act.  I'll be sure to double-check the list to make sure that CSA is on there.