Tool Selection

Could be someone I know, someone I don't know, fictional characters, dead people. I don't care, I'm an equal opportunity complainer when it comes to complete dickwads.

Wherever there's a Complete Tool, I'll follow closely behind with my anonymous bitching. 'Cuz that'll show 'em.

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Awesomeness
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Wednesday, October 28, 2009

I Just Got Knocked Up By A Chick




To be completely fair, I was asking for it.  I didn't do much to lose my baby weight from last year.  As a result, I look the exact same way I did when they wheeled me out with the baby.  It sucks, but I figure I'll get to losing it eventually.

Today, one of our more ... unstable ... clients came in today to demand some face time with MisManager.  As she was waiting for MisManager to drop everything she was doing to run and attend to her whims, CrazyClient decided to get all oddly friendly with the rest of us little people.  She yelled at one of my 19-year old boys.  "Hiiiii-iiiiii JailBait!"  We'll just call him JailBait because he looks like he's 15.

She gets around to me, "Hey!  Susanna!!!!"  Who the hell is that crazy lady talking to?  She's been coming into my office for 5 years.  My name isn't Susanna.  My name doesn't even sound like Susanna.  I mean, it has an 'a' at the end, but that would be the only resemblance.

As I was turning to gently correct her mild social faux pas, she throws her hands up in the air and screams, "OH MY GOD!  YOU'RE PREGNANT AGAIN!!!!!"

Bitchsezwut?

I'm not going to lie and pretend like it brought me no pleasure to inform her that: 1) "My name is not Susanna." and 2) "I'm not pregnant."

She was so humiliated that she almost started crying.  Lesson learned.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hasn't she ever heard to NEVER assume that a woman is pregnant unless she's obviously in labor?

Thankfully I've not gotten that yet.... "When are you due?" from a perfect stranger. a) I'm not, it's called fat b) why is it any of your business?

--Wen

Awesomeness said...

Nope. People get all kinds of stupid when babies are involved.

And yes, labor would be the point where it's safe to assume a fat chick is having a kid. :D