Don't Be A Complete Tool

Hey, Tuesday!  Eat a dick.

This was my day in all its incoherent glory.  Just like I experienced it.

Start @ 5:00 a.m.
Alarm
Coffee
Shower
Clothes
Wake 3-year old
Car
Commute
Preschool
Traffic jam
Accident (someone else's)
Broken traffic light
Meeting
MisManager
Send employee to OtherOffice (surprise!!!)
Ah, more coffee...
Maintenance guy is here!
Did you have to do that today? 
Another maintenance guy is here for something else!
Phone!
The maintenance guy you REALLY need is still not here!
Hey, I have a question....
You have a call....
Are you done yet?
Goodbye MisManager, I'll see you in an hour
Don't forget we still have to....
Phone!!

12:00
Lunch? No.
Client emergency!!
No, this client has a bigger emergency!
You have 2 calls...
Can you sign...?
Can I show you...?
Can you help me with...?
Have you gotten that done yet?
PHONE!!!
Do you know when I'm working 3 weeks from now?
WHERE IN THE FUCK IS MY MAINTENANCE GUY?
(10:00 tomorrow, pure awesomeness)
Attempted crime
SOMEONE ANSWER THE FUCKING PHONE!
Lunch?  Hell no.
I think I messed up...
Is MisManager coming back today?
Awesomeness, I can see you have 12 things you're working on, but can you just...
Phone!
Can you help me with...?
Can I take your number and call you back?

2:30
Lunch?  Finally!!
Before you go, can you help me with...?
I know you're trying to eat, but can I show you?
Do you know where ____ is?
There you are! Blah, blah, blah (pigeon drama)
Phone! (seriously?)
Hey! Uh...nevermind.

3:00
MisManager! Thanks for gracing us with your presence.
A meeting? Do I have a choice?
No, MisManager, that's not a company policy, that's your policy.
No, MisManager, that's not a company standard, that's your standard.
No, MisManager, that's not something we need to have a meeting about. You just misunderstood what you heard.
No, MisManager, I don't have a shitty attitude, you're just being a sensitive douche.
No, MisManager, this is not a productive conversation.
Yes, MisManager, we should postpone this discussion.  I'll see ya next month.

3:30
More attempted crime?
Can you take a look at...?
Can you sign...?
Before you go sign that can you...?
Phone!
OH HELL NO!
No sir, I said oh hell no.
Hi, this is ____ from another office.  Your client is screwed and it's not your fault, but you need to somehow fix it.  'Kthanxbye.
My voicemail light is shiny.
Can you help me finish...?
Sign here
Sign here
Sign here
Sign here
What's wrong with this machine?
I can't find something even though I've looked at it twice...
Phone!

5:30
Preschool
Pissy pants crybaby
Who's pants are these?
Commute
Dammit! That doesn't belong to her!
What are you eating back there?
Why are you making a yuck face?
No, we're not going to the store.

6:40
Home
Dinner?
Mmmm...chili cheese fries...
Sssoooo hungry
All right dinner's ready!
It smells awesome
What the fuck is that?
Floam
That's what she was eating in the car.  Shit.
Totally not hungry anymore.

Is it bedtime yet?