Tool Selection

Could be someone I know, someone I don't know, fictional characters, dead people. I don't care, I'm an equal opportunity complainer when it comes to complete dickwads.

Wherever there's a Complete Tool, I'll follow closely behind with my anonymous bitching. 'Cuz that'll show 'em.

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Friday, October 29, 2010

Breaking News!

There are certain qualities that a manager should possess.  Without rattling off an entire list, we will focus on the one quality my manager lacks -- completely -- that would have come in handy today: composure.

Composure.  So important.  You panic, your team panics, the situation devolves into utter chaos.  You stay calm, put your thinking cap on, start to brainstorm, your team feels like things are under control.  That's really all there is to that lesson.

Do not do what MisManager did today.  She calls me from across town:

MisManager: (In a purely panicked tone.) Have you heard any rumors?
Awesomeness: Uh, no.  Is there something I need to know?
MisManager: Yeah....Can you tell everyone we're going to have a meeting tomorrow morning?
Awesomeness: Sure.  What time do you need us all here?
MisManager: Oh, normal time, but we're just going to have a meeting before we open.
Awesomeness: Is this a bad thing?
MisManager: (Confused.) Why? No.  I don't know.  (Again, panicky.) Are you sure you haven't heard anything?  I can try to make it back to the office tonight, but I'm about 45 minutes away....I don't think I'll make it....  Uh, I wish I didn't have to go to this meeting.... Are you sure you haven't heard anything??!! 
Awesomeness: (I give up on trying to get any information and now I just want to get her crazy ass off the phone.) I haven't heard anything.  I'll see you in the morning.

So, based on her panicked tone and lack of details, what is the first thing I want to do?  Damn right I want to call the other offices to see if anyone else knows about this mystery announcement.  I don't; a decision I'm still kicking myself for, because this is torture.

Is the company going out of business?  Are we getting bought out?  Are there going to be more layoffs?  Are they cutting benefits?  Are they freezing salaries?  Are they closing down offices?  These are all the questions that are running through my head right now.  Questions that I now have to wait until this meeting to have answered.

The worst part is now I have to try to spin this out to my staff.  I couldn't manage "positive", so I went for "indifferent" instead.  "Que sera sera," on the outside.  "OH MY FUCKING GOD!  AM I GOING TO HAVE A JOB TOMORROW?" on the inside.

So, we'll wait and see....