Don't Be A Complete Tool

You made my list today Manager Lady. I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning and you poked the angry bear. So it's your turn.

I understand that delegation is a key ingredient to effective leadership, but the things you delegate are ridiculous. If you want to join an extracurricular company program, please submit your own information. If you are spearheading the office effort in the community, then please do not tell me -- on my lunch -- that the 2 employees that you still have not collected information from need to submit. They're about 100 yards away from where we're sitting. Please go inform them yourself. I got things to do.

Also, I don't really think that barging in on situations you don't understand and yelling at everyone for things they aren't doing / have no control over will gain you any respect. I'm so used to you doing this that I completely blow you off, but my staff is not me. They don't understand what you're talking about. It makes you look completely foolish. If that's the look you wanna wear, that's all you.

I don't care that the client you're sitting with is a crazy moron. Guess who I have to deal with all day. Crazy morons. Your whole one nuthouse escapee does not impress me in the slightest. She showed you her toes. Big deal. Just wait until one of them propositions you to run away with them to a foreign country while your husband is standing right behind you. That's a great time. Wait until you get a schizophrenic who's obsessed with one of the state's senators and starts to sing lullabies to you. I'll go look at your lady's toes. Thanks a bunch.

You're never in the office. Office protocol is specifically my job. What makes you think it's a wise move to start changing procedure on the days I'm not there? I've been doing my job for about 1/3 of my life. I know that it's approximately 1/2 the time that you've been in the business, but it's still a very significant length of time for me. I understand that I make your job easy, but that's a good thing. Instead of trying to fit your square peg into my system's round hole, just find out what is actually needed from you and focus on that.

Do you remember seeing the awards on the wall for outstanding performance? Do you recall at all getting to bask in the warm glow of all the praise you get because my staff out performs their goals by as much as 400%? I don't even care that you get all the kudos for it, just kick word of it downhill every now and again and we're all right. These achievements are an indication that we know what we're doing. We do not need you second-guessing --to death -- our every move.

Yeah, I'm putting you in your place. You just seem too cozy in mine. Back off.