Tool Selection

Could be someone I know, someone I don't know, fictional characters, dead people. I don't care, I'm an equal opportunity complainer when it comes to complete dickwads.

Wherever there's a Complete Tool, I'll follow closely behind with my anonymous bitching. 'Cuz that'll show 'em.

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Awesomeness
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Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Creepy Grocery Store Stalker



If I weren't so awesome, I would have been afraid of you. You very obviously followed me around the store. You looked very crazed and hell-bent on catching up to me.

I know you were following me, because no one else goes into the store to buy a turkey wrap, coffee creamer and eye drops. Well, just not coincidentally at the same time anyway.

There is a fair chance that you had innocent intentions. I am pretty cute. It could be that my raw animal magnetism ripped you off the bench against your will and kept dragging you down random, unrelated aisles with me.

Man, I hate when that happens.

2 comments:

Chelle said...

I'm SORRY, okay?

Awesomeness said...

Don't let it happen again >:(