Tool Selection

Could be someone I know, someone I don't know, fictional characters, dead people. I don't care, I'm an equal opportunity complainer when it comes to complete dickwads.

Wherever there's a Complete Tool, I'll follow closely behind with my anonymous bitching. 'Cuz that'll show 'em.

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Sunday, June 14, 2009

DVD Makers

Every year they get more and more ridiculous with their movie intros. Must I really watch 10 minutes of crappy previews, followed by a 5 minute long Main Menu sequence before I can start watching the damn movie I paid good money for?

Back in the good ole days of DVD infanthood, they used to just cue up straight to the Menu. It's the reason I started buying DVDs over VHS tapes in the first place. Instant access to whatever part of the movie you actually want to view is great too, but I really hate previews and commercials.

The previews I hate because they're only timely for a limited time. When I'm watching a movie years later, chances are I'm already aware that Drop Dead Fred made it to DVD. "Coming soon in Fall 2005, a digitally remastered version of Cinderella." Sweet! I was under a rock when that happened. It's a good thing I have these really old promos.

Speaking of Disney movies though, they're on a specific release schedule. There's nothing more aggravating to me than picking up a Disney movie and checking out one of their "Limited Time - When It's Gone, It's Gone F-O-R-E-V-E-R" video ads and finding out the time has been expired for a good couple of years already.

They have this new feature on DVDs also that make it hard, if not impossible, to just skip to the Main Menu after the disc starts up. Why? Do you think that I'm not just going to fast forward past all that bull crap? Just give me the damn movie.

Then you finally make it to the Main Menu and you have to sit through a really obnoxious montage of clips from the movie you're about to watch. Usually, you also get treated to the WORST FUCKING MUSIC EVER. And they play this in a loop. So, if you're busy and you can't turn the damn thing off right away, you get to hear it infinity times.

Now, to their credit, most DVD makers will allow you to press the Menu button one additional time to skip through all of this and get straight to the Menu selections. SOME though, think it's funny to set the DVD to completely start over again every time you do that. No fast forward for you either asshole. Sit through our obnoxiousness and like it.

To hell with you people. I'll wait until all the damn movies I want are $5.00. That's how much I don't want to pay extra for your commercials. Even then, you'll probably still be making $4.90 off of me per disc. I just can't win can I?