Tool Selection

Could be someone I know, someone I don't know, fictional characters, dead people. I don't care, I'm an equal opportunity complainer when it comes to complete dickwads.

Wherever there's a Complete Tool, I'll follow closely behind with my anonymous bitching. 'Cuz that'll show 'em.

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Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Just Kidding!!


You know....I don't really get the unfunny kidding thing. Maybe I'm the asshole, but jokes should make people laugh.

Like, other people, not just the teller of the "joke."

Employee: Can you look at my work I'm doing for CrazyClient to make sure it's correct?
Awesomeness: Yeah, sure!
:checks over notes of all work, looks thorough:
Awesomeness: Looks good. Have a good day Mr. CrazyClient.
CrazyClient: Aren't you going to make sure his notes correspond to what's in the computer?
Awesomeness: Uh, no. I'm just going to make sure that he's logging all of his work.
CrazyClient: But what happens if he isn't correct.
Awesomeness: That's a serious concern, but Employee has been consistently accurate in the past. If, for whatever reason, an issue arises, I will accept full responsibility and fix it.
:CrazyClient laughs and pounds the counter:
CrazyClient: Jesus! I was kidding....
Awesomeness: ...........................:crickets:........................Okay, have a good day.

That dialog was incredibly boring. There was no reason for me to believe that any of that was a joke. We're not really in a business where mistakes are taken lightly either.

When you wanna make me laugh CrazyClient, say something like this instead:

A guy walks into a
bar and sees a sign that reads:

Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00

He checks his wallet and beckons to the sexy bartender.

"Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?" he asks.

"Yes," she purrs. "I am."

"Well, wash your frickin' hands," says the man. "I want a cheese sandwich!"