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Could be someone I know, someone I don't know, fictional characters, dead people. I don't care, I'm an equal opportunity complainer when it comes to complete dickwads.

Wherever there's a Complete Tool, I'll follow closely behind with my anonymous bitching. 'Cuz that'll show 'em.

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Thursday, July 9, 2009

Your Kids Are A Fire Hazard

I had to leave the house today. I was going insane. We decided to push our luck and try a restaurant again for the second time in a week.

We ended up at a restaurant that hates children. I mean, I'm not sure that they do, but I'm feeling melodramatic right now, so for the sake of this blog post: they roast unruly babies in the kitchen and then stuff them with pickled puppies.

Before they seated us we explained to them that we would need 3 things: a booster seat, a high chair and a booth. The hostess said, "Sure, we can do that!" then proceeded to lead us to a table.

"I'm sorry, we said we needed a booth." I thought she maybe didn't hear me the first time. I was wrong. She just ignored me. The actual response we get was: "Oh, I know, but we can't have a high chair at a booth. It's against fire code."

Oh reeeeeeeeeeeally? I know I've gotten a high chair at a booth at that same restaurant. So maybe the fire code has recently changed. I dunno. I also get a high chair at a booth in other restaurants that I go into. Maybe they just have wider aisles in between their tables. Maybe they ignore fire code. I'm a reasonable person and I can understand that that circumstances change from time to time and from place to place.

So what the hell's my problem? I have 3:

  1. She heard us at the entrance, but drew us all the way to the back of the restaurant before explaining to us that we would not be able to have both a high chair and a booth. My little girl was hungry and didn't understand why we had to leave. She cried.
  2. Why didn't we just take the table and put the booster on a chair? I mean, gee, it seems reasonable. Until you see their chairs. They're small and rickety and not as wide as the booster. If we put our kid in a booster on one of those things, I would estimate at least a 78% chance that she would have fallen off or toppled the chair. She's a normal, active 3 year old.
  3. There was an adult sitting in the aisle on the table side. Why is this person not a fire hazard, but my kid in a high chair is? It can't be about the person in the chair, because if a fire breaks out the adult will not courteously tuck the chair in before running for the door in a panic. Hypocrites.

Say goodbye to our business forever R.I.P Thursdays.