Tool Selection

Could be someone I know, someone I don't know, fictional characters, dead people. I don't care, I'm an equal opportunity complainer when it comes to complete dickwads.

Wherever there's a Complete Tool, I'll follow closely behind with my anonymous bitching. 'Cuz that'll show 'em.

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Saturday, August 15, 2009


Again, I'm a lazy ass. I'm sure that there's a technical term for being deathly afraid of dentists, but I don't care to look it up. Actually, if I'm thinking logically, I'm pretty sure the title would indicate that I'm afraid of teeth. Well, close enough.

A gazillion years ago in my last visit to the dentist, I bravely sat there while Dr. Quackenstein fucked up my smile. Call me crazy, but I thought that dentists were supposed to make your teeth look good. I really must be an ignorant jerk.

He left black filling materials in one of my front teeth, drilled another one 1/2 way through then made fun of me when I asked him if he was going to fill it in (direct quote, "Why do you want it filled in? For cosmetic reasons?" Uh, yeah asshole. I don't like looking like a snaggle-tooth hillbilly), and lastly he filled in one of my back teeth only to have it break 2 weeks later on a sunflower seed.

I never went back. I never formally complained. I just tell everyone I know that story. He gets anti-referrals from me.

I finally got up the courage to go back to the dentist recently. The whole experience wasn't really as bad as I remember. Maybe I just have always had Scrivello-esque dentists. I needed a couple of fillings and my broken tooth will need a crown, but overall it wasn't too bad.

Until he was filling in one of my teeth and discovered that the last dentist just filled over one of my cavities. As if I didn't already despise that guy enough. Oh, and also, my new dentist was chastising me for the huge hole in my canine. He looked at me like I was a psycho when I told him that my old dentist left it that way. After the cavity-behind-the-filling discovery, I'm pretty sure he knows I'm not lying.

The other guy sincerely thought my tooth had a better shot at surviving with a huge, gaping hole. *cough*whatanasshole*cough*


CatLadyLarew said...

When I was a kid I went to a dentist who was a total sadist as well as a total tool. He didn't believe in "wasting my parents' money" by using novacaine. Please! Waste my parents' money! The worst was when he'd have a gaping hole in my tooth and the nerve exposed and then shoot it with the air gun. Yowser!

I think I would have rather had the black teeth.