Tool Selection

Could be someone I know, someone I don't know, fictional characters, dead people. I don't care, I'm an equal opportunity complainer when it comes to complete dickwads.

Wherever there's a Complete Tool, I'll follow closely behind with my anonymous bitching. 'Cuz that'll show 'em.

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Saturday, May 23, 2009

Styrofoam Bananas....really?!

It's been quite a while since I just randomly picked someone out of the news to write about. Apparently, I've been living in CottonCandySunshineLand for a little while. Hmmm. Happens sometimes.

Not in Fond du Lac though. They've got some chump dressed like a chimp stealing Styrofoam bananas from gas stations. If you're going to dress up in a costume and steal something, why not make it worth your while? Why not dress up like Chester Cheetah and steal Cheetos? You can at least eat those.

Oooh, or dress up like the Pillsbury Dough Boy and steal some of those tubes of cookie dough. I would kill for some cookie dough right now. Maybe I'll hunt down my Dough Boy costume.

Or how about...dressing up like a monkey and stealing REAL bananas. Then, while you're making your escape you can toss the peels on the ground behind you, so if anyone's chasing you they'll slip and fall. Just don't stop to laugh at them.

PSA: Don't steal stuff.