Don't Be A Complete Tool

Also known as a Simper Session or a Waaaaaahbinar. I've had a rough week and I'm totally holding you all hostage.

Monday: I come into work to learn that we're still having ongoing issues with our equipment, our phone lines went down, some of our locks need to be re-keyed, some parts of our outdoor facilities are falling apart and one of my employees blew up our toaster oven. Oh, by the way, it's cultural diversity week! Can I bring something for lunch that reflects my cultural heritage? Oh sure! I'm Irish, so I'll just bring a bushel of potatoes and some whiskey.

I go home to find that my son is being allowed to take late naps. Spectacular! I don't need sleep anyway.

Tuesday: I thought that soda bread and potato soup would be easy enough to make and transport. They are the easiest things in the world to make when you don't have a screaming 11 month old clinging to your pants. I scalded myself twice on the soup trying to find a suitable container to transport it in. I finally had to settle on Ziploc baggies. Fancy Schmancy. I get the soup to work, where I spill it all over myself and the floor. Hope no one actually wanted soup.

Manager decided to yell at my entire staff this morning for something only one of them did. That's always great for morale. Toaster Oven Employee lost important client paperwork. For the second time in a month. Same client, same paperwork. Office equipment is broken again. Locks still aren't re-keyed because, no matter who I call, it seems to be some other guy's job.

We pick up GrumpyGirl from preschool and she has a weird rash on her knees that we just dismissed after a while as rug burn.

My son is late napping again.

Wednesday: Both kids are screaming bloody murder this morning. Baby boy just wants his Mommy, the girl doesn't want to be awake at 6:30 in the morning, but we need to take her to school. We get her all the way in to school just in time to notice that she's broken out into a head-to-toe rash. I guess it wasn't rug burn.

I go inside to ask her teacher what she ate yesterday and I learn that she didn't eat anything unusual. I also learn that the lady I thought was her teacher (because she's in the classroom with the kids every morning) is actually a kitchen employee. Now I'm pissed but I don't have time to get to the bottom of the teacher mystery.

I have to call into work so I can take her to the doctor. My manager is upset because it's just inconvenient timing. I'm sorry, I'll reschedule the rash for Thursday. Tool.

Hubby and I carpool and we live an hour away from work. He has work to do that he can't get out of. So I have to drop him off (he also has to take Rashy for a moment), run into my work real quick to make sure the building won't spontaneously combust, go back to his work to pick up The Rashster, drive all the way back home. Feed Sicko some lunch, throw her back in the car, drive all the way back in to pick him up, drive in to her doctor.

After all that work, what news do we get from the doctor? A virus. Just some mystery virus. If it doesn't clear up in a week, let her know.

Little boy decides to stay awake until midnight and then only sleep until 4:30.


Thursday: Locks are finally re-keyed. Yaaaaaay! All of our computers are intermittently going offline. Boooooooooo! The 2 things that I handed off to other people the day before were not done, so my manager had to step in and guess who she's mad at for it.

Manager, once again, seizes the opportunity to change procedure while I'm gone. I have to take 3 meetings and make 7 phone calls to sort that mess out.

Today is the launch of a new electronic delivery system for our client documents. This is supposed to save the company millions of dollars. That's great, because now it's causing my staff to have to work twice as hard. To get ready for the new system, the tech team came out the day before and replaced our server. Now my printer doesn't work. No one will be able to fix it until Monday.

Baby Boy stayed up and SCREAMED. BLOODY. MURDER. until 1:00.

Friday: Sicko Girl puked all over her room.

One of our business partners decided to move into our office. He was supposed to come last week, then changed his mind, then he was supposed to come Wednesday, but he changed his mind again. This time, he came with files. He's a fussy nightmare. He bikes into work, which in Phoenix means he stinks to high heaven. He complained that we don't have a shower. Show of hands, who all has a shower at their work?

He's a vegan. I don't really care what his food preferences are, but he's already expressing his concern that we're keeping animal bi-products in our breakroom. That's going to happen dude, the rest of us are meatitarians. He's my tool for this post.

My inlaws decided to come for a surprise visit. They were waiting for us when I got home. Of course, hubby decided to cut out of work early to hang out with his friends, so I had to deal with them alone.

The high point: I managed not to drink myself into a stupor last night. :pat on the back: