Tool Selection

Could be someone I know, someone I don't know, fictional characters, dead people. I don't care, I'm an equal opportunity complainer when it comes to complete dickwads.

Wherever there's a Complete Tool, I'll follow closely behind with my anonymous bitching. 'Cuz that'll show 'em.

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Awesomeness
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Wednesday, February 24, 2010

The Faucet

The faucet in the kitchen has been leaking since...well, roughly the beginning of time if you believe Mr. A.  We've been putting off getting it fixed because a) faucets are strangely expensive and b) Mr. A is lazy.  When he does get into the mood to actually complete something, it's all I hear about.

For an entire damn month, not a day has gone by that I haven't heard:

"We absolutely have to replace the faucet this weekend.  NO. EXCUSES."
"Look.  Look at the way the water is coming out of the back."
"Do you smell that?  It's because the water is running down the back of the counter and leaking into the cupboard."

Every day.  So, last weekend I cashed in some of the rewards points I got for spending my ass off on my credit card and got a $250.00 gift card.  Instead of the Kohl's card I normally get so I can buy work clothes.  You can imagine how I feel about the faucet card.

Today's the day we go get the faucet.  We were going to go buy food, but what the hell, right?  Priorities.  We get to the faucet aisle where Mr. A turns to me and says, "Just pick whichever one you like.  I don't give a crap about the faucet."

YOU STUPID MOTHER FUCKER!!!!!  YOU'VE BEEN GIVING ME CRAP FOR AN ENTIRE MONTH AND NOW THAT I GAVE UP MY KOHL'S CARD YOU DON'T GIVE A SHIT? DO YOU ACTUALLY THINK I GIVE A RAT'S ASS ABOUT A FAUCET?

Now that some time has passed and I've had time to reflect on his actual words, I think he was talking about style, which I know he does not give a shit about.  [Note to the boys in the audience: what Mr. A should have said was, "I don't care what it looks like, but I know you do.  Go ahead and get what you think looks good.  I'll be happy so long as we walk away with one."]  At the time, however, I was debating whether or not to punch him out, take the keys and ditch him in the Lowe's faucet aisle while I made a run for Kohl's.

This faucet is what we ended up with (not my sink...I mean, yeah, it totally is...)

















Please note, however, that it will not look as good on my ass as a pair of new dress slacks.  I could also use some new shoes.

I kept the receipt for the faucet.

4 comments:

ColeAndJosephine said...

Sigh, man talk. It is maddening. But the faucet is nice...

Awesomeness said...

I like the faucet too! I would like it a lot better if it were installed...

Mr. A "miiiiiiight get around to it this weekend". It's sitting on my counter right now. In the box. Not spitting out water.

The plus side: I haven't heard anything about it for 2 days now. Hooray!

Bonehead said...

Congrats on your new faucet purchase. We have a constant leak in our bathroom faucet that I've repaired by closing the door so I don't have to hear it.

I've also learned to bring along some note cards filled with helpful reminders that tell me exactly what to say while shopping with my wife. Saves lots of headaches.

Awesomeness said...

I think I need some note cards for Mr. A. Usually, though, I try to avoid shopping misunderstandings by just not taking him.

The next project we get to work on is the crown molding. That one should end better though, since it was totally my idea.